my WHY

 

Simple Quotes For Starting Something New what you can do when you can t help a mentally ill parent

Well, If you’re here right now, it probably means I made you feel guilty enough to check out my new blog via my sappy Instagram, Facebook, or SnapChat post. I feel a little bit bad about that, but not really. So, Welcome!

I’m Carly! I’m a wife, stay at home Mom, goldendoodle lover, older sister, favorite daughter, aunt, friend, runner, crafter, soccer player/coach/enthusiast, football fanatic, lady golfer, green thumb in training, avid romance novel reader, crime show watcher, beer snob, whiskey & scotch lover, sweatpants wearing, type A perfectionist, self-proclaimed know it all and newly minted blogger. I think that covers most of who I am.

You may be wondering why I decided to write a blog. I know, EVERYONE has a blog now. (I considered a live journal, but do those things still even exist?) There’s a million different “how-to’s” on blogging out there, and I read a bunch. You’re supposed to consider an audience and focus on a topic in order to achieve maximum exposure. BLAH BLAH BLAH. Whatever. That’s not why I’m here. I’m here to share my insane and sometimes unbelievable life experiences in an attempt to make you feel better about your situation, whatever it is. 

This is my WHY. I’ve been suffering with Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria with Angioedema for about 18 years. I won’t go into the crazy details about the disease itself or my treatment plan until a later post. But long story short, I get insanely itchy hives and painful swelling all over my body, for apparently no reason, and they don’t go away. Sounds fun doesn’t it? I’ve had 4 big flares in my life (age 12, 25, 28, and 30) the last of which has been on going since August 2017. I hate sharing these pictures, but its important you see for yourself how bad it really is.

We haven’t been able to figure out a treatment plan to give me much relief this time around which is a serious challenge, both physically and mentally. The medicine has made me gain 30 pounds. I don’t like being in pictures anymore. I don’t like how I look or feel. I’ve struggled to care for our one year old daughter McKenzie, our two doodles Darwin & Chewbacca, my husband Chris and myself. The simplest tasks have become difficult. I’ve slipped into days of being depressed, defeated, and lost. I don’t feel like I’m the fun, active, social Carly anymore. I guess you could say that I’ve been in a bit of a slump. And the worst part is that my life is really great these days, aside from the stupid hives. I have so much to be thankful for, especially these four!

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We have unintentionally kept the whole thing private and struggled behind closed doors for a long time. It’s not like we didn’t tell people if they asked what was going on. It’s just that no one really asked. Most people don’t understand how bad my condition is until they see me amidst a flare where my lip is blown up like a balloon and my eyes are swollen shut. And guess what? When that happens, I lock myself inside and don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or do anything until the copious amounts of Benadryl kick in. Speaking of which, I have a superpower! Did you know I can take 2-3 tablets of Benadryl every 4 hours and still function like a normal human being? Pretty awesome, huh? [insert sarcastic laugh]

Anyways, Back to my Why. Last week, the hives were at an all time BAD. My new treatment plan backfired and I felt like the hives were taking over. Chris finally convinced me it was time to be open and honest with my friends and family. He echoed a sentiment that my acupuncturist has repeated to me time and again. I urge you to really think about this concept. It has offered me a necessary change in perspective.

Stop feeling like you are a burden. Shift your perspective. When you share your struggles, you are giving someone else the chance to help. In fact, they may NEED to help you as much as YOU NEED to be helped!

And sharing my battle with the hives was the best thing that ever happened to me. I shared my struggles and you guys answered with love, prayers, flowers, food, support and understanding. For that I am eternally grateful. I don’t think I can adequately explain what that outpouring of love and support did to shift my perspective. No longer was I depressed, defeated or lost. Instead I felt loved, encouraged, and filled with renewed purpose. #killthehives2018

That renewed purpose came from others reaching out to me about their struggles with different types of Chronic Illnesses. Their feelings and experiences made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my battle with the hives. They made me realize that if I shared my story, not just about the hives, but about all the other stuff in my life, maybe I could make someone feel the same way, understood and accepted. Because honestly,  sometimes you just need to know that you’re not alone in this CRAZY, CHAOTIC life.

So that is my WHY.

This blog is my shot at paying it forward. It’s given me a renewed purpose. This site, The Honest IMPERFECTionist, is more than a blog to me. It’s my story. It’s my ever-changing and chaotic life laid out for you all to critique and hopefully love. It’s going to tell you about the greatest moments in my life and some of the most challenging. But at the end of the day, I hope it makes you feel something. I hope it turns your sadness into encouragement, your defeat into inspiration, and your insanity into laughter.

If you learn anything at all from my crazy rambling in the days to come, I hope its to embrace the chaos, accept the journey, and share the gratitude. I hope that this blog becomes even the tiniest little part of your story. YOUR crazy, chaotic journey. Thanks for being a part of mine. And for your love and support. I wouldn’t be here without it.

Love,

Carly xoxo

7 thoughts on “my WHY

  1. I just love everything about this. You, Chris, Kenz, the boys, the whole Grayeski/Tydings tribe. I’m so thankful and inspired by you sharing all of these things — the honest, true, hard, sometimes great, sometimes not, mountains and valleys. LOVE YOU

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very nice Carly. I think it is great to share your story. Hopefully it will help others understand their struggles and maybe someone out there will have things that may work for you. Here’s hoping. Look forward to your continued writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bravo daughter! You are fierce, you are strong and you are fabulous and I look forward to following your journey both here and in life. You inspire me each and every day with your courage and resolve. I will be by your side always! love you

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great job putting yourself out there Carly! I will look forward to your blog! Suffering in silence isn’t necessary. I am glad you are asking for help. People need one another and helping others is what we do. I’m glad you listened to your hubby and your acupuncturist. I hope to get to know you better and please know that being neighbors means I am happy to help! #killthehives2018

    Liked by 1 person

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