Note from Carly:
Guys, this is a good one! If you have ever experienced change (ALL OF YOU HAVE, don’t lie!) this will hit home for you or hopefully help you with change moving forward!
Today’s Guest Blogger is my not-so-little anymore little sister, KiKi, as MCG calls her! She was a Psych major at Fredonia and currently works as a teller supervisor at a local credit union. She’s a rock star Aunt, sister and best friend (I’m lucky to call her one of mine!) I’m thrilled she took a chance on writing for me and my blog. She embraces everything that I am trying to do here with this Blog. She’s honest and truthful and full of feelings! Enjoy her writing, I know I did!
Written by Kimberly Tydings
(As contradictory as that statement may seem, that Greek philosopher was definitely on to something) Change can be an overwhelmingly daunting thing. Whether positive, or not so positive, a shift in the norm is unsettling. Human beings are creatures of habit; when something comes along and throws a wrench in the plan, it can lead to a lot of emotion. Some people strap on that parachute and jump right out of the airplane embracing the challenge. Some people step into those cement shoes, safe on solid ground and avoid it.
While I don’t think I’ll be stepping in cement anytime soon, I’ve always been someone that loves existing within my comfort zone. I love knowing that I have consistency; I love knowing what I’m walking into every morning; I love being the one who has the answers; I love that I’ve known the closest people in my life for a good majority of, if not my entire life. As social as I am, I would still prefer to exist in what I refer to as “my bubble.” I’m happy within my bubble. But living within a bubble, no matter how cozy and safe, has its own pitfalls. No matter how nice it is, you’ll never really know what else is out there, and it could be even BETTER.
I do consider myself to be a flexible person. When small hiccups with plans or something at work occur, I can adjust on the fly and come out unscathed. BUT, and this is a BIG BUT, I am the WORST when it comes to major life changes, and to be honest, I’m now realizing that I avoid them as much as I can. A perfect example of this is when I graduated college.
The weeks leading up to graduation were some of the most emotionally taxing weeks of my life. Everything was changing. I had just spent 22 years of my life on a path: you are born, eventually go to elementary school, then middle school and high school, graduate and go to college and get a degree.
But what comes after that is UNKNOWN. That is one of the scariest words to me. UNKNOWN? How can I NOT KNOW what to do or where to go next? My whole life up until this point had some sort of structure, and I loved that, and now you’re saying I have to choose where to go next? And on top of it all, I have to move away from the place and the people I grew to love so much over the 4 years I was there? COME ON. I was flooded with sadness, anxiety, confusion, nostalgia, and regret for the things I wanted to do but never did. I was also flooded with so much love, a realization of who my real friends were, an appreciation for what that time in my life meant to me and a sense of accomplishment for working hard for my education. I cried so much; I didn’t want things to change.
I guess I always equated things changing as a negative, but the older I get, the more I realize that change can be an AMAZING thing. Just because it’s different, doesn’t mean it’s going to be bad; and just because it may be better, doesn’t take away from the past.
Carly and Chris having McKenzie was a major life changing event. But it was such a GOOD change. That little sassy princess has been such a bright spot in all of our lives. She more than anything has shown me how change can take your life in positive and rewarding direction.
Change is inevitable. That doesn’t mean we have to suffer through it though. Here’s my 4 rules going forward on how to deal with this ever-changing constant:
1. It is okay to not be totally okay with what’s happening in your life – as my sister has said before, EMBRACE THE SUCK but don’t let it swallow you whole
– Look, not everything is going to go according to plan and you are allowed to feel whatever you are feeling in that moment. HOWEVER, don’t let it consume you. Put your big girl pants on and work hard to get yourself out of the situation you’re in. Not only will you take your focus off of the suck, but you will get a tremendous amount of satisfaction in accomplishing a new goal.
2. Get yourself a solid foundation of people who support you
– Another topic Car has focused on, for good reason. Change can be made so much easier if you know you have some constants in your life. My family and friends have been there for me through every step of my life. I know that no matter what comes my way, they will always be there and that alone provides so much confidence. These people are also the people who will encourage you to take that leap. Sometimes we all just need that extra push!
3. Take control of the changes in your life
– This concept is pretty simple: If you are in control of what path your life takes, then change won’t take you by surprise. Obviously there are going to be things outside your control, but when those things arise, YOU make the next moves. Don’t let fear or other people choose your path.
4. When in doubt, GO FOR IT
– This is probably the most difficult for any of us to do. When you see an opportunity, take it. Usually the things that could end with the most heartbreak or failure are also the things that could end with the most happiness. It’s a risk but how will you ever know if you don’t try? Admittedly, I really need to take my own advice when it comes to this one!
p.s. We only have so much time, don’t forget to enjoy the ride 😄